We all want to protect our family and loved ones from unnecessary emotional hardship. Why then do so many people leave someone they love with the tremendous and often agonizing burden of making final arrangements at what is already a very difficult time? When a death occurs, there are an overwhelming number of things that must be done, including dozens of decisions that must be made, documents and information that must be gathered, and hundreds of details that must be taken care of. When you plan ahead, much of this responsibility is removed from your loved ones. |
If you had to plan a funeral today, would you know what to do? Few of us would. But what if some of the most difficult decisions you or your loved ones would ever have to make, could be done at your pace – in the privacy of your own home? We all realize that the best decisions are always those that are made calmly, rationally, and with ample information in hand. That’s why it makes such good sense to plan ahead by taking care of as many plans as possible in advance so that difficult decisions won’t be left to your loved ones at a time of confusion and grief. |
At some time, most of us have probably talked or joked with others about what type of funeral we might have. But would your spouse, children, or close friends really know what you might have wanted? When you think about it, it makes sense to take the time to make these decisions now, with the people you love, so that they will not be responsible for doing this alone. Making your wishes known today will help guarantee that they are followed tomorrow. Unfortunately, just telling someone about your final plans is not always enough. By taking just a few moments today, you can decide how, where, and even when your final arrangements will take place. |
Personalized funerals not only “ look” different from traditional funerals, they also “feel” different. The difference is the emotional context of the experience, which gives friends and family a strong and lasting sense of who you were to them. It is an experience that delivers a powerful personal insight and an emotional connection with a living and sustainable memory of you. A “good funeral” is any funeral that creates effective grieving opportunities. Good funerals create safe boundaries for grieving and make the public expression of loss acceptable. If spiritual matters are important to you, your church location that has inspired you might be the most appropriate funeral location. As you know, funeral homes are designed to accommodate the requirements of funerals and may be the most appropriate location. On the other hand maybe you want to create a celebration with champagne, a brass band, party favors and your favorite food spread out on a fine linen tablecloth? Maybe a more formal ceremony is appropriate, with more pomp and circumstance? Perhaps a head table, where close friends are seated who will deliver formal eulogies, might be more in keeping with your life wishes?
Ministers and spiritual leaders can bring a dimension of comfort and hope, but they need not be the only participants.
Consider making a video of yourself talking to your friends and family, or showing a video of a special family function. You can leave messages on audiotapes or videos for friends and family to hear at the funeral. Even bequeathing special personal items can serve as a moving part of the ceremony. If you have a beloved pet, make provisions for him/ her to play a part, if you choose. You can arrange to have the funeral any place you loved: a park, a lake, the beach, the woods, a restaurant, and athletic field, on a boat, in a bar, your home or any location that has meaning to your family. Especially if the location can serve to help them remember you as they knew you in life, not in death. Creating a ceremony that reflects you – your ideas, beliefs and feelings – will become increasingly clear. As you begin to find your way through the exercise of confronting your own mortality by planning your personalized funeral, be bold. Displaying symbols of your life at the funeral might help your family remember what you liked and why you did, so get creative. We offer many ways to help families personalize and customize a funeral or memorial service. Personalization not only provides a special way to remember a loved one, it also allows those present to participate in the ceremony. Prayers and remembrances offered by family and friends, favorite music, treasured belongings, pictures and mementos can all play a major role in making the final tribute fitting and moving. The family can choose to assemble a display containing family photographs, favorite possessions, and items from a hobby or awards the deceased received. These items help shift the emphasis of the services to the memories of the person's life, rather than on the circumstances of his or her death. Personalization can also be added by involving prayers and hymns, or civil rituals such as the lighting of candles, the release of helium balloons, Doves of Peace, or butterflies. |
